


Winter

by Lucifers_Left_Lung



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 14:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16934694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifers_Left_Lung/pseuds/Lucifers_Left_Lung
Summary: you love the snow, but winter will never be the same.Ⓒ2018//Lucifers-Left-Lung





	Winter

The ground was white, covered in an untouched blanket of snow. It was glittering in the sunlight, some of it taking to the wind, blowing in a whirlwind of stark ivory. You stood by the door, barely able to contain your excitement, clapping your mitten-covered hands together cheerfully when Jaebum finally made his way down the stairs. There was a hint of a smile on his face as he watched you watch him. You loved the snow and he loved to see you so happy. That was the real reason he always took so long to get dressed for your snowball fights or your sleigh rides, or whatever it was that you had planned on your snow day. The longer Jaebum dragged it out, the longer he got to see that beautiful smile and relish in your utter happiness.

You gave him your signature look, the one you always gave when you knew he was taking his time on purpose. Jaebum smirked and finally stood from tying his boots, pulling on his gloves. You grinned again as he reached around you and opened the front door. Both of you froze for a moment, as you always did, taking in the beauty of the clean white canvas of snow that the two of you were about to ruin.

"Three," Jaebum said, starting your typical countdown to the snowball fight. You took a deep breath and readied yourself. "Two." Jaebum zipped his jacket up to his chin. "One." You considered cheating, but decided to wait this time, knowing Jaebum would undoubtedly be pouty if you ran before he gave the word. "Go!"

You both bolted out into the sunlight and the snow, taking to your favorite hiding spots. Jaebum was on one side of the yard, hidden behind the stacked firewood, while you moved behind the large oak tree on the other side. You both took a couple minutes to build up your snowball ammunition.

"Ready?" Jaebum called.

You looked over your decent pile of snowballs. "Ready!"

You peeked around the trunk of the tree and screamed as a snowball hit it, just barely missing your face. Jaebum laughed, not realizing he was exposed and you threw your own snowball, hitting him in the side of his head. "Ha!" you exclaimed, ducking behind your tree.

Jaebum was silent. Too silent. You peeked around the truck of the tree but didn't see any sign of him. Brows knitted together in confusion, you turned back to arm yourself with a snowball, and saw Jaebum standing there. Before you could react, he dumped an armful of snow on your head.

Shoving him away, you laughed. "That's cheating!" you shouted, throwing snowball after snowball, each of them hitting his puffy jacket with a quiet sound.

Jaebum was laughing loudly; he tripped over his own feet, trying to get away from you. "Help me up," he said, holding his hand out to you.

"Help yourself. Cheater."

"Help me or we're not gonna go get hot chocolate," he said. "I have the car keys." He grinned wickedly and you rolled your eyes, contemplating dumping more snow on him.

With a sigh, you shook your head and took Jaebum's outstretched hand. He pulled you down, causing you to fall and land on top of him. His arms wrapped around your waist, holding you there. Not that you were fighting to get away. You quite liked it there.

The snow began to fade, the feeling of someone squeezing your hand breaking through the memory. Memory? Was that what it was? It had seemed so real. The sunlight gave way to flourescent lights overhead, something beeping nearby, and beige walls that made you miss the stark white of the snow. But those days were gone. You remembered that now, as you opened your eyes and glanced over to see that the one who had squeezed your hand was the same boy from your memories.

"Did I wake you?" Jaebum asked quietly, a hand coming up brush hair from your face. "Go back to sleep."

A smile rose slowly to your face and you squeezed his hand in return. "I was just thinking about our snowballs fights," you said, voice hoarse from lack of use. These days it was too much work to speak, but this seemed worth the trouble. You had to tell Jaebum that you remembered those good times with him. That you wanted him to remember them as well. After all, memories would be all he had soon.

Jaebum smiled, but you noticed that it didn't reach his eyes. He knew what was coming and it was going to hurt him. You knew that, knew it would rip him apart. But he would be okay, he'd make it.

"I love the snow," you said.

"I know you do," he replied.

You let your eyes study his face for a moment. His brown eyes and those two little moles that you'd always loved so much, his lips and his nose. All burned into your memory. You hoped your face was etched into his as well. "I love you more," you said.

Jaebum squeezed your hand again. You could see now the tears welling up in his eyes. How was he still so beautiful, even when he was crying? You wiped a tear away as it fell. "I know," he said again. "I love you. More than anything. Please, don't."

You knew what he was asking of you. And you both knew it was impossible. If you could stop what was coming, you would, if only for him to be happy. But death was inevitable, even for happy people such as yourselves.

Jaebum knew it was coming. He'd had weeks to prepare himself, but how did one prepare for something like this? As he watched you now, through his own tear-filled eyes, Jaebum could see the light leaving yours. And it tore him apart. How was he meant to live in a world that no longer had you in it? He wasn't sure he could.

"Jaebum," you said. Jaebum leaned forward, lip quivering as he tried to hold back his emotion. "Don't be sad too long, okay?"

Of course, Jaebum agreed immediately, willing to give you anything. Some tiny, illogical part of him thought that if he just gave you whatever you asked for, somehow you would get better. Somehow you could stay with him. He knew it was ridiculous, but still that tiny, illogical part of him hoped.

You turned away from Jaebum and stared up at the ceiling as your labored breathing grew heavier. "Let yourself love again," you said. "Promise me you'll try."

Jaebum choked on a sob, but nodded, forcing himself to hold it in until he was away from you. "I promise," he whispered.

He sat there for a long time after you were gone, crying until he couldn't cry anymore. Then he stared out the window at the falling snow. He was alone now. And winter would never feel the same.

 


End file.
